I wrote a little while ago about a decision that was playing on our mind. For many, choosing the right school is one of the most difficult decisions. It was an easy one for us, we have a fantastic primary school on our doorstep. The minefield we were met with was that of a school with a two-form entry. For us, our minefield has been that of ‘To separate or not to separate’. It has been a consideration from the moment their sibling started school, if only the school had been smaller we’d have just had to cope!My initial instinct was to separate but then life took hold. And at first it was easy. The school determine class allocation based on whether or not your child is at morning or afternoon nursery. In the height of laziness we weren’t thinking of taking one child in the morning, picking them up, taking the other an hour later, etc. It made sense for them to be in the same session.
And then, when it came to thinking about separating them, there seemed no benefit. Everything was ticking along, everyone was happy.
And then they started school.
I guess the easiest way to think about it, is on the basis you have a sibling. Can you imagine what you’d be like in the same classroom? Familiar? Reliant?
And then there’s that intangible – the bond between twins.
The boys are the best of friends, they are similar in tastes and ability, when they get bored, they wind each other up, they don’t mind who’s watching. When they’re winding each other up, it’s likely to result in taunting, which probably results in an arm or leg flying. They’re 5-year-old boys. Why wouldn’t it?
When the boys get excited, they are exceptional, their laughter is truly contagious, they fly on each other’s enthusiasm.
And the ball of energy which might be one child really is compounded into a greater mass when there are two.
I don’t look at the boys and wonder how they’ll cope without the other. They have known another sibling all their lives, and there is never a moment when she is out of things, the twin bond is always there when they sleep, they always gravitate to the other, but there is no interdependence.
And so, today has been a great weight lifted.
I was dreading meeting with the Head and the boys’ teacher. To reflect on a half term of monitoring. To consider the future.
I went in and with a deep breath explained why we think it would be in the boys benefit for them to be separated in Year 1.
To the response: “I agree”.
There is a sense of relief and trepidation.
Relief because there was no ‘fight’ no case to win. The school was, as they have always been, completely understanding and supportive.
But now, to support the boys, to help them understand the benefits.
More friends to invite to their birthday party might just be a winner!