Last week saw me and him ask a fundamental question- What makes home?
We moved to Wales six years ago.
We moved here because we wanted to be nearer to my family. I needed my parents. Three children in 21 months was a challenge.
Six years on, we’ve started to improve our home. Alongside this we’ve realised in the past month that my parents are the only people we’ve entrusted to look after our three children.
Prior to children, we were both quite… well, I think I prefer the word ‘bohemian’. Admittedly, I didn’t leave home until I finished university. I think I made up for lost time over a short duration. From Wales to Berkshire, to Hertfordshire, to Bedfordshire, to Manchester, to Yorkshire.
I quickly came to understand home was less about where and more about why.
Now, as life throws a curve ball, the discussion begins.
How easy is it to move 200 miles, to a ‘shire’ neither of us know?
I’m left thinking about what makes ‘home’.
And the reality is, like everything, it’s about balance.
Home is a space our children feel safe. Loved.
It’s where we have our home comforts, our own space.
I do want to imagine welcoming a childminder into our home, trusting them whilst me and him escape for an evening.
And I’d also like to imagine having a space for us, and a space for us. And by that, I mean a space for family, and a space for him and I.
I don’t want to have to leave our home every time I want to feel like an adult.
Like our plans this year to have a Christmas tree we all decorate (the Christmas vomit tree) and the tree which is ‘grown up’. I’d love our home to reflect this.
As we plan our living space in favour of an upgrade, I already feel the compromises.
As soon as I fell in love with a French Connection DFS sofa the nagging feeling began.The two and three seater would fit perfectly in our lounge. But. They are nowhere near as practical as our existing suite. Will they survive my children jumping on them? Our current suite is over ten years old, and as seen us through everything. What if we spend the money to find out we haven’t got value for money?
Shouldn’t we just find as near as to identical as we have?
Why can’t we have an adult living space?
With the sofas I now seem to have my heart set upon.
Adult living space.
With beautiful artwork.
With a rug for which I don’t need to think about children or dogs.
Of minimal technology.
Favouring minimalism over possessions.
Maybe we could revert to wood, but rather than a boat, a log cabin. One with plenty of light. For cosy evenings in, for cool evenings during the summer.
But practical, with lots of natural light. A place to escape to in the daytime to read, to write, to hone photography skills.A log cabin which could be homed in our garden. We could install baby monitors so as soon as our children sleep we could escape from our family living space to our space.
Space which reminds us of who we are, who we have become, and to remember to appreciate everything we’re fortunate enough to have.