There was a time, when I started my first blog (all the way back in 2011) that you would just write a post. Throw in some photos and press publish. And this is what you need to expect from this post. I’m not saying that my blog has progressed so much since. But this isn’t a post I’ve planned. But it’s a post I need to write. Now. This is a post about Miller – a life lived. A life which has been integral to our family. Regardless of how it started, or what I intended.
Miller, named after the place Mr J and I met. A pub on Hollingworth Lake. On our copper wedding anniversary I couldn’t decide whether to have a wristband engraved with the pub or where we were married. On the basis we had Miller, I went with Gibson Mill.Miller has been with us from the early days. The early days where I thought we’d never have a family. Like most things in Mr J’s life it was a discussion which needed an immediate response. We were camping in Clitheroe when the discussion went from not having children to having a puppy. Our initial search was fruitless, but then we found Miller, and everything about bringing a cocker spaniel into our lives made sense.
Of course, a bit like investing in a convertible (which we did as well), we did eventually find out that I was pregnant. And from being the best puppy, Miller became the best protector. He seemed to get it. How to look after my bump. To go from playful to understanding new boundaries. And when CM came along he became her protector.Miller has been a constant in our family life. Unwavering when shortly after we brought another two babies into our home. Miller took us all into his span, we were his family, he was ours.
We moved 200 miles to South Wales. And he adapted. We went on to offer a play pal. He adjusted.
Like all of us, Miller aged.
He moved slower, he had less enthusiasm for longer walks.
His hearing lapsed, and his eyesight dwindled.
But he still looked out for me.
When I worked from home, he would sit under my chair.
Whilst I typed, and talked, and ranted and raved.
He would always appreciate my shorter walks, circling at the prospect.
He never stopped showing love and affection for CM, B and E.
Mr J was always his master.
He was showing every sign of ageing.
He had lived.
And he was showing every sign that life was slowing down.
He had been poorly on Tuesday morning.
I know because Mr J’s phone had accidentally phoned mine whilst he was on the school run, I could hear him telling one of the school mum’s that Miller was refusing to walk.
I jokingly text back to tell him that I could hear him flirting with one of the MILFs.
When he phoned me, he hadn’t picked up my text, he was just worried about Miller.
So he’s spoilt him all week.
I got home tonight, and hugged and loved my children.
And made sure Miller was made a fuss of.
I didn’t notice him leave the room.
But we found him, under the chair in my office.
The place I hope he found as much comfort as I did knowing he was there when I worked.
I have never been a ‘dog person’.
Before Miller, I had never owned/ had a dog.
With Miller’s protection, me and Mr J brought our family into the world.
I hope he left us, trusting that we’re ok.