I seem to be in a reflective state at the moment, trying so hard to not react, but spend time before responding. Which in many ways has been hysterical. This post started by documenting my (most recent) parenting fails. I reflected and decided I’m not after a sympathy vote, there have been some successes, but yes, this week my best parenting fails to date have been achieved.
It started when E came into the kitchen singing (in my world) “I don’t wanna be a gay-man, gay-man.” It was to the tune of a familiar song, I was horrified. I breathed in. Looked at Mr J. He looked at me, smiled at said “gamer”. Oh yes, YouTube has introduced B and E to ‘gamers’.
Job done. My child isn’t horrifying me with their language.
“Mum, what does ‘f*cking’ mean?” spoke E the following day. Deep breath. “Pardon?”. The same question repeated. “Sh*t.” I thought. Reflect, Reflect, Reflect.
“Where have you heard this word?” was my best response.
“Daddy uses it sometimes when he’s trying to get the dogs out of the door.” was the answer.
Parenting success. He hasn’t heard it from me.
And so came the discussion that this is a word you really shouldn’t use. And it won’t just land you with a warning or a cross at school. Your golden time will just disappear.
Parenting success. Eight years if you count CM, six for the boys. And the first time a swear word has been uttered.
In fairness, since the children walked out the door last Tuesday evening for the boys investiture at Beavers, I’ve suspected the following events were about to follow.
Before half-term my boys came home over the moon that they had been trusted with Sam Beaver.
Following on from the bear they get to take home in Reception to have “the best adventures”.
Sam Beaver came home and went on The Best Adventures. Walks along the coast. Valentine’s Disco.
Sam Beaver didn’t qualify for the half-term holiday the children went on with Mr J.
Sam Beaver was forgotten.
As we walked out of the door for Beavers last Tuesday, CM spoke the immortal words: “What about Sam Beaver?”.
I didn’t use any expletives. I didn’t use expletives.
In the last seven days I have sorted every room from top to bottom, I’ve checked the cars- I’ve checked them twice.
Sam Beaver. Where for art thou Sam Beaver?
The children came home with their swimming badges.
Parenting success. My children can swim.