There is so much focus on fortune, of winning the lottery. Usually referring to the one which screens on a Saturday evening. As I sat in the hairdresser’s this week (get me, I’m now getting my haircut at least every six months), a random conversation took place. It started with Christmas, moved onto the benefits of living in a bungalow, into a love of hallways/ entrance halls which can home a Christmas tree, into a love of Jack and Jill stairs and the need to win the lottery.
First and foremost I love conversations, I love where they can take us. The joy of enthusiasm, interest and the random. This week I met a friend and had it at the forefront of my mind to ask her to finish one of our previous conversations, we had moved on from a conversation, our enthusiasm had moved it on, without concluding a part of it which meant a lot.
And so I wonder what fortune means? Why have we reached a place in life where people see the only way to become famous is to be successful on a reality television programme? Where did we lose the belief in talent? Why has being famous become a priority for so many? And why now does much of what we want rely on winning the lottery? Why are we so reliant on money?
It’s so easy to understand why.
The fact that we have put so much focus on the importance of a university education. And then decided to put a huge price tag against it.
The fact that it’s so difficult to get a foot on the housing ladder. To make a home.
When our media is so full of aspirational living.
Why can’t we be happy with our lot?
Over recent years I’ve become happier, content with our lot.
We have lived with bereavement, faced the possibility of redundancy in a single income household, and grown a family.
It makes what is important so much more immediate.
I would love everything from Kate Spade, I would love to take my children to Disneyland, I would love to have a new kitchen, a Kitchen Aid, wooden flooring throughout, a gorgeous ‘Carrie-esque’ leather chair in my office like this one from John Lewis, and while we’re at it, for truly aspirational can I have a study rather than an office? My list can go on if I let it.And yet I can live without them all. Happily. Without loss.
I still have feelings of envy. Of those who have taken the leap to self-employment. Of those who have valid passports. And use them. For those who are effortless. In my eyes.
Envy exists. And no-one has a perfect life.
We, as a family, have so much.
We’ve made our choices.
Our home by the sea.
And really that’s it.
We’re living by our values. It includes compromises. But it’s our happy.
And what of fortune?
I will be fortunate if my children become the best that they can be.
I am scared of everything where my children are concerned.
But in a healthy way.
Fortune is enabling them to be happy. To grow, in a nurturing environment.
To know what life is, and of how loved and cared for they are within this life.
I don’t know that I want much more.
Yes, bills to be paid. Yes, to live without the fear of being without income.
With bills, food and a roof over our heads in check.