I’ve lived a month in five days


I’m back on the 6am train tomorrow.

Ill prepared.
I haven’t worked since Thursday morning and it feels so long ago.

I have spent three days at university.

Having discussions which left my mind frazzled.
Having debates which left me reinvigorated.


Understanding life again, in the same way as an undergraduate, with the benefit of a career’s experience.
Feeling enthused to understand.
With the restraint of a full-time job and a family.

I’ve spent time with friends.
Akin to group therapy. The chance to talk, to listen, to reflect.
Feeling the ridiculously fast passing of time.
‘Big’ birthdays are once again amongst us.

I have heard the words ‘ADHD’ and ‘dyslexia’ uttered.
And breathed.
Relief rather than anxiety.
‘Intelligent’ was the third word used.

I wonder which words were used with my mum so many years ago.

When my daughter was born I was so scared for her.
A speech therapist referral was the result.

I didn’t worry for my boys.
And yet, it seems both have similar traits as my education.

Both, I think, handled so much better than I remember my schooling.
Handled with the confidence that teachers will take it in their stride.

When I got home, children fed and in bed, I remembered that I don’t have rail tickets for the morning.
I haven’t been online since Thursday evening.
University and work systems refusing to co-operate.

I have more emails than I know what to do with.
I have three days of meetings in London for which I am ill-prepared.
Followed by fund deliberations, for which I have to prepare.

At least now I have a ticket to ride.

Notwithstanding all of this, 
Life is on kilter.

Yesterday I felt ridiculously out of control.
Not knowing how we’d make it to the end of the week without more hours found in the day.

This evening I know, as always, we’ll be ok.

Life has a habit of working itself out.
And in this I should have faith.

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