I’m intentionally writing my update now. Before the day is out. I want to remember January for what it is this morning. I have a feeling my life right now, on the morning of January 31st 2019, is very different to how I’ll be feeling about my life this afternoon.
January has been an odd month. It started so well, with a blip in the middle, and back to a happy state.
We started the month with me off work- I still can’t believe I had three whole weeks off work. Whilst one week might have been absorbed by my body collapsing under the weight of too much time at work, I quickly adapted. Christmas with my three was a joy, having an extra week off to get on top of everything at home, to remember who I actually was, well, that was bliss.
We had birthdays coming out of our ears, as Mr J celebrated his 50th, quickly followed by B and E reaching the grand old age of eight. And it was fantastic- I think we totalled six birthday cakes, and we managed to spread the celebrations over ten days rather than the usual three.
It was wonderful. So much happy. So many cwtches as my beautiful family grows.
And I got back in the hamster wheel. And it all went to pot.
It’s been horrible. My hopes for 2019 so quickly extinguished by too much going on at work. The balance of work and life colliding spectacularly.
More hopes and dreams have quickly been rewritten. I’ve realised I can’t go back to uni no matter how much I might like. It’s one plate too many to spin.
I have found myself back to previous. Only able to invest in home and family. Making sure we stay on top of all the children’s stuff can be relentless when nothing seems to be staying still. But even on that front, there’s been good news. I may have lost half a day at an orthodontist appointment, but just over a year in CM no longer needs a brace. Well, for now at least.
All of this again has reinforced what I need for my own wellbeing. Working away without my headphones is a complete no-no. I need music to keep my mood upbeat. I am better when I have a good book to distract me from my emails.
And I’ve realised I need to get my alcohol consumption in check. I may have found myself double booked one evening. Thinking I could meet one friend straight from work and another at eight. Needless to say, I left the first pub with a bottle of wine consumed. A 2k walk across London probably didn’t sober me up as much as I’d hoped. After carrying on in another bar, the feedback the following day was that I wasn’t embarrassing, just really funny. Oh dear.
So, with alcohol consumption and sleep back in hand. It’s all good. My pact to average two days away each week is working. Four weeks back at work and I’m at eight days. And it is making all the difference. School runs, cooking, keeping on top of the house, it finally feels tangible.
I have a constant turnover of books, and Mr J hasn’t mentioned the height of the ‘read’ and ‘to read’ stacks in my office.
It won’t last. It’s the 31st January. The work update I mentioned in my November Life Right Now post was delayed. It’s today. It will be ok. I feel better prepared than ever, although I know I’m over-estimating my resilience.
But this weekend Mr J is away. So I’ve got no choice. I will be thrown hook, line and sinker into the life of my children. And that’s just it. There’s always something to look forward to.